TLC will be the downfall of all civilization (not like I am trying to be dramatic)

Reality shows have long been popular now, I have long hated them with a fiery passion similar to the way pterodactyls hate Steve Jobs.  This is a well documented fact, Steve Jobs is the primary reason for pterodactyls being so close to extinction.  Lately though, the geniuses that run the various cable television stations have taken this particular experiment too far.  The most recent and egregious show is called "Mall Cops of America."  This is an actual show and as a result I have lost faith both in television and in culture.  This show, as expected, follows the trials and tribulations of being a mall cop in American.  Apparently the creators of this show do not realize that the recent movies regarding the profession of Mall Copping (Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Observe and Report) are poking fun at them rather than romanticizing them.  While I appreciate middle aged men telling pre-teens to stop running or preventing old men from peeing in the fountain as much as the next this hardly makes for compelling television.

This is not the only show to have a ridiculous reality subject.  There are a number of shows that offer similar topics, there is one on repo men, another on real estate agents.  All told in 2009-2010 TLC had 25 distinct reality shows, 12 of which are returning and 13 new programming efforts.  What happened to shows about tigers mauling things.  There are plenty of tiger maulings to be videotaped out there and I call on anyone with a video camera to capture them and create a show out of it.  If you include lion maulings it could be the most epic show of all time.  If it is a show about bad ass cats then we can at least say that we are "learning" something.  The Discovery Channel has done a great job at convincing us that watching amounts to learning.  With two of their most popular shows being Dirty Jobs and Mythbusters I am not sure just how much learning has gone on but I still change the channel with a feeling that there are worse ways to spend my time.  Considering TLC stands for "The Learning Channel" I think I should take away more than the perils of mall copdom.

TLC is not the only culprit, although their obscene number of wedding shows does not speak in their favor.  CBS was the first to bring reality shows mainstream with long running programs like Survivor, Big Brother and the Amazing Race but I do believe the bar has been raised.  Admittedly all reality shows are populated with people that take themselves entirely too seriously and tend to see themselves as the center of the universe.  This, I am sure, makes for entertaining television but when these personalities are presented as the only option the show becomes less reality and more an outpatient insane asylum.

In short, more shows about cool things that eat other cool things (possibly exploring the feud between Steve Jobs and pterodactyls, the public needs to know).  TLC is still the primary culprit in this case and deserves punishment, perhaps a nice smiting, maybe a fire or even being forced to watch nothing but their own programming on a loop for all of eternity.  This final punishment is admittedly cruel but a man can only take so much mallcopping before he has to stand up to his oppressor.

-theoreticalhero